Community reaches out to tackle loneliness at Christmas

Gibraltar's community and charities such as GibSams and the Joint Pensioners’ Convention of Gibraltar are working to alleviate loneliness across all age groups, especially during Christmas, through outreach programs, support services, and initiatives like a Christmas Day lunch to ensure no one feels alone.

Local charity GibSams has shed light on a trend they are witnessing which is “more people saying they're lonely.”

Brenda Cuby, the CEO of GibSams, told the Chronicle the reason is because "I think there's less stigma around using that word now."

She noted that loneliness can affect individuals from all walks of life, not just the stereotypical image of an elderly recluse.

"You can be lonely in a crowd,” she said.

The charity has observed a particular rise in younger people reporting feelings of isolation, which she attributes to the double-edged sword of modern technology.

"Because they're so connected with their devices, it's making them more lonely. There's a lack of real interaction,” she said.

Without the formative experiences of face-to-face socialisation during their youth, many young adults struggle to develop the necessary skills for meaningful connections.

"If you don't learn them when you're growing up, it's very difficult to go into the workplace and deal with that social interaction,” Ms Cuby said.

This lack of interpersonal skills can lead to further withdrawal, as individuals avoid team activities and social events.

There are often other factors too including stress, bereavement, relationship problems and the demands of parenting.

“Any of these pressures can make you feel like you're the loneliest person in the world and you become secluded in that,” said Ms Cuby.

“I think this is why it's really important for us all, in our busy lives, to look out for other people and notice if you see any changes.”

“If somebody used to come to the socials and they're not coming to the socials, try and make that connection.”

“If they're somebody who you would maybe have had a coffee or a chat with in the kitchen in work but then they're not doing that anymore, then reconnect with them.”

“Make that effort.”

“And I know we all have busy lives and it's really difficult to think about that, but it's those things that count.”

GibSams receives calls on a daily basis from people who need to talk because they are not in a good place mentally and sometimes because they are lonely and there is a warm caring voice on the other end of the phone.

Some callers don't even say very much because they don't know how to communicate how they're feeling, said Ms Cuby.

Therefore, the GibSams volunteer just sits there on the other end of the phone, giving them space and the opportunity to talk if they wish.

This is different than what a friend might want to do. A friend or loved one will try and “fix” the situation. But at times, that means the person is not being listened too.

“That’s the difference. In GibSams they call us, and we don't try and fix, we don't try and advise. We just listen,” said Ms Cuby.

“For most people it's the only time that they get that.”

She explained that because people lead busy lives, they often want to fix situations so they can get the issue off their plate. This is not done with any malice but is purely a factor of modern-day living.

All ages, from teenagers all the way up to over 80, call GibSams. And over the past seven years there were no spikes for specific age groups, specific genders, a specific problem or a specific time for these calls. This year, August was the busiest month in 2024.

Christmas Day too can be unpredictable for GibSams. Last year was the busiest they ever had. The year before it was quiet.

In response, GibSams is redoubling its efforts in providing a lifeline for the lonely this Christmas. Its annual Christmas Day lunch, open to all, has grown exponentially, with over 80 attendees last year.

"Anybody who is alone on Christmas day, come down," she said. "We won’t turn anyone away."

The lunch is for everyone, regardless of faith, where they are from, if they are working or not, if they have family. The premise of the Christmas Day lunch is that no one should spend the day alone or eat a meal alone. However, if someone cannot stay because it is too overwhelming, they can take their meal home with them.

While it is possible to just turn up on the day at Time Out, Europort, between 12.30-3.30, she asks that people let them know in advance to make it easier for catering.

The team at Time Out opening their doors once again to GibSams is a gesture that Ms Cuby is extremely grateful for.

Volunteers are the backbone of this initiative, she added. Offering a friendly face and a listening ear to those in need.

"It's my favourite day of the year," she said. "I get far more out of it than I give."

Looking to the future, GibSams is exploring the launch of a new befriending service, called GibSilver which will connect isolated individuals with regular check-ins and companionship.

"We're hoping to have that up by the end of quarter one," said Ms Cuby.

As the festive season approaches, the message from GibSams is clear: reach out, listen, and help combat the growing epidemic of loneliness on the Rock.

To donate towards the Christmas Day lunch and other GibSams initiatives go to https://gibsams.gi/donate

PENSIONERS’ CONVENTION

Charlie Bishop, Chair of the Joint Pensioners’ Convention of Gibraltar, spoke to the Chronicle about the well documented situation of loneliness, especially amongst the elderly around the world. Despite being a close community, Gibraltar does not escape from this particularly during the Christmas season.

However, "one of the strengths of our community is that we're a caring community, and people do look out for each other,” he said.

And Gibraltar boasts a robust network of charities and social services that support the elderly, including residential care facilities and supplementary pension programs such as community care.

Even so, Mr Bishop acknowledged that some seniors may still feel isolated, especially if they've lost family or neighbours over the years.

Some would have raised their own families in the same home they still live in but over the years they lose their neighbours as they get older and now "around them are a load of young families with children making lots of noise and that can make a person maybe feel lonely,” said Mr Bishop.

Mr Bishop also challenged outdated perceptions of aging, and emphasised that many elderly Gibraltarians remain active and engaged, thanks to good healthcare and financial security.

"Elderly people have a different role these days," he said.

"They're still very much involved with a family if they've got young grandchildren, because they're helping out their sons and daughters."

Not all members of the community are in that situation and in those cases it is down to their fellow residents to make people feel cared for, thought of and not lonely.

"There's people visited in residential care, even not necessarily by their families, but by people who make it a point of actually going to visit and just to check if people are okay," he said.

"It's about caring about your community, about your neighbours.”

Mr Bishop did note that it is not just the elderly who are affected by loneliness but younger people too, often men who have lost their families through divorce, or people who are isolated from their families for whatever reason.

Sometimes social media makes the younger generation feel more lonely too as they see what their friends and others are experiencing.

As Christmas approaches, he encouraged people to reach out to elderly or isolated individuals, whether through a simple phone call or a friendly visit.