Chai with Priya The ‘Millennial ache’

“Life was so much simpler when we were kids” is something I often hear friends who are parents say as we look back at our childhoods.

Born in the mid-80s to early 90s, all of us have been feeling nostalgic for a time that no longer exists and cannot be recreated.

Most of us remember what life was like before the internet took over our lives, and we began communicating through devices, and families owned one computer rather than each family member owning various pieces of technology.

I am talking about those days when we would leave home with a couple of pound coins in our pockets and be able to stay out all day.

Saturday mornings would start with a trip to the Book Centre in Main Street to look for the newest pens and latest novels, then a visit to Vijay’s to look for the newest cassettes or CDs before meeting for lunch.

Summer days would be a non-stop cycle of trips to the beach where we would spend hours talking, reading, swimming, tanning, and repeat.

Plans to meet were made over our parents’ landline phones and, somehow, everyone received the message and everyone turned up at the allocated place and time.

Most of my friends are around my age and I reached out to them with one simple question – “What makes you nostalgic for your childhood?”

Music was a factor that featured in many people’s memories, whether it was taping favourite songs on the radio, or getting a cassette tape or a CD that was listened to over and over again, or rethreading our cassettes with a pencil which one friend found relaxing.

Going to Vijay’s to look for the latest CDs and tapes was also a canon event.

“I miss cycling around Gibraltar without much traffic in the mid-1990s, being bored,” one said.

“There were seemingly more hours in the day, there was time to do everything and then still have time to do nothing,” another said.

It was so easy to make plans and meet friends, and Saturday morning was an endless stream of phone calls until my brother and I left the house.

One of my friends said she just used to go to her neighbourhood park and see who was around to play with, and they would either play badminton or ride their bikes.

“We made plans and stuck to them because we had no mobile phones to confirm,” one said.

The safety of growing up in Gibraltar featured heavily in all my interactions, with many mentioning being in the park until late every day after school, or being able to walk on their own without any fear.

Many remember those couple of hours after school where they would walk home with their friends and stop by Marks & Spencer for a cookie then spend another two hours chatting and laughing before they would actually went home.

And while we may not have had mobile phones, our parents would despair at how many hours we spent on the house phone talking to our friends.

“Most of the time it was one of you and we could have easily just met up,” my friend said in one of our WhatsApp groups.

“I miss the peace of mind and not being bombarded with [bad] news all day, every day, from every angle,” another friend said.

“I can't imagine how stressful it must be for kids and teens growing up in the age of the never-ending news cycle when they're still learning basic social skills and trying to make sense of the world around them.”

“My nostalgia is mostly for the times when I didn't have to worry - the news was for my parents and I could live my life in ignorance,” another said.

“I miss when I could do the same thing for days on end and still enjoy it... nowadays I can only take one full day at the beach per weekend.”

It seems like time moved more slowly and the summer holidays felt like they would go on forever and most of our time was spent at the beach or the pool, playing cards or ludo.

But eventually most of us “grew up”, we all went to university to study and started our lives, with social media, technology and the internet becoming an integral part of that.

For one friend, she misses “not being connected all the time via social media”.

“It’s great in many ways, (like this group chat right now) but I think it can also make it harder to step away if you need to and immerse yourself in something (like a book or a hobby or even just rest), at least without feeling guilty and without having to catch up on loads of messages, which can feel overwhelming,” she said.

“It’s especially hard to disconnect from work-related messages and stress.”

While I am not a parent, I often wonder how different it is for my friends who have children and to bring them up in a world that is no longer recognisable.

There is a lot of pressure on kids to look a certain way, own certain things, consume certain media or play certain games.

This brings the additional concerns on how smart phones and social media can shape the minds of youngsters.

“I hope young people can be able to take the good from the internet, the connectedness to other people and ideas and information online, and learn and be empowered to draw boundaries where they can to navigate the difficult parts,” she added.

There is also the debate on boredom and letting kids just be.

“I do think that in our generation we were more able to just be happy to be bored like at the airport or in a long car journey or we’d come up with ways to be entertained without the need for technology,” another friend said.

“I think that it is a skill that is being lost somewhat - just learning to be bored.”

However, there was one friend who is so excited about raising his two boys.

“They genuinely cannot comprehend the world we grew up in and in many ways that's a good thing,” he said.

“It is so much easier to get involved in sports now, nerds and geeks are no longer ostracised and loners, clever children are somehow cool.”

“Tech has grown so massively, and I honestly can't wait to see them grow and understand the future better than I can.”

“I think too many of us get stuck in the mentality that ‘things were better in my day’ but in my opinion it's ourselves who have matured beyond the carefree days, get left behind in the speed of progress and wish we could go back to our youth.”