Nine in 10 who reach out to EV Foundation are women, mostly struggling single mothers 

A single mother in Gibraltar described recently how she sometimes breaks into tears late at night, exhausted and choking under financial strain, after putting her children to bed. Without a family support network to provide help with childcare, finding work is a struggle. It can feel like being trapped in a cycle without respite. 

For the EV Foundation, a charity that helps people who are struggling financially and cannot meet their basic needs, stories like this are all too common. 

Nine out of 10 people who reach out to the charity for help are women. 

EV Foundation CEO Nicole Jones said recently, against the backdrop of International Women’s Day, the majority of women who reach out to her struggle to pay bills and find it difficult to cope with their young children when there is no familial support. 

The EV Foundation assists people who struggle to make ends meet, typically offering financial assistance in the form of food vouchers, donations, employment placements and home refurbishments.  

In 2023 and 2024, the EV foundation supported 150 to 200 families and individuals, spending over £80,000 via its food scheme. 

Ms Jones recognised that poverty disproportionally affects women, and the majority of those who reach out to her are single mothers. 

"Eight out of 10 mums that I support have no partners," she said, adding that the children's fathers were absent or indifferent. 

She added that there are pressures on single mothers to provide, but they need jobs that match school hours and the long school breaks, and these are difficult to find. 

The average employee’s leave does not stretch to cover school holidays and Ms Jones described how, locally, the thought is that everyone has family to help and fill these gaps. 

But she has found that this is not the case and some single mothers have no familial support, no one to take care of their children while they work, and no monetary support from the father. 

This means, in many of the cases Ms Jones deals with, that the financial burden lies wholly on the mother. The women find it difficult to work as children enter Government nursery at age three, and their employment may not sufficiently cover nursery costs in those early years. 

“It's a very, very easy comment to make: ‘they can work’,” Ms Jones said, reflecting how some people see such circumstances. 

“Are you going to stay with their children? What happens in summer? What happens in Easter?” 

She said there are single mothers who want to work, but do not want to be in a worse financial position due to working.  

For example, she pointed to an issue of mothers taking on part-time work within school hours who may lose out more on benefits than they earn. 

“They want to be self-sufficient,” she said. 

“They don't want to live off a system.” 

She added: “It's like you're almost being punished for doing the right thing.” 

She described how perhaps there should be a scheme for single parents who need flexible employment. 

When men come to the charity, Ms Jones said, they are usually single fathers who cannot make ends meet as they are paying rent and maintenance.  

The Chronicle spoke to two single mothers who were put forward by the charity as success stories, and who have managed to become self-sufficient. 

The crux of the issue for the two women is that they feel that there is little aid for single mothers who want to work and not rely on charity handouts. 

With no family support and totally alone, they found it difficult to find employment that could pay them enough to cover nursery fees and living costs. 

They feel that there is an expectation locally that mothers can rely on grandparents and family when that is not always an option. 

In both these cases, the women had left toxic relationships, and the fathers provided no support, no financial assistance and did not see the children. 

One woman described how, after years of drug addiction, she rehabilitated and was able to receive support for her family through the EV Foundation. 

With the charity’s assistance, she was able to rebuild her life and provide for her family through self-employment, caring for her child at work during school breaks. 

She said there is no help for mothers with young children and no family support, adding that it was difficult to work before her youngest was of school age. 

“There was no option,” she said.  

She described how, with £80 a week on benefits, she struggled to make ends meet and she wanted to work and not be at home. 

“I didn’t want to stay at home, I wanted to work and have a better life,” she said. 

“I wanted to actually buy something that was mine. I had nothing that was mine.” 

She began working, but the salary was marginally above what she received in benefits, and so she found other opportunities to generate additional income and became self-employed. 

She underscored that there is a need for subsidised nursery care for children aged below three years old so that single mothers can work. 

“There’s no help with the children, how am I meant to work? Where am I meant to leave the child?” 

“I understand I made bad decisions, but why do I have to pay for it for the rest of my life?”  

“I’ve changed, I’m another person, a totally different person to who I was 10 years ago and it’s cost me a hell to a lot to get here.” 

Ms Jones said this mother is a success story for the EV Foundation as she has now managed to find a permanent secure government job. 

She added that the charity has provided aid to this family in the form of therapy, financial assistance and childminding. The Foundation has paid other mothers in need to childmind for this mother so they can attend work. 

Ms Jones said this has meant that the charity is helping multiple families through its childminding scheme. 

Another woman, also a single mother, described a childhood in the care system, a cycle of toxic relationships and living in the women’s refuge run by Women in Need for years. 

After leaving an abusive relationship, and with young children, she wanted to provide for her family. 

“It's been a very hard journey, because I've found myself completely alone,” she said. 

“I have my family here in Gibraltar, but I don't get any support from them at all, in any way. No economic, no childcare, nothing. I am completely alone.” 

She has received support from various charities including the EV Foundation, and through a course has understood the markers of abusive relationships. 

She feels proud she has broken the cycle. 

“It's very scary, especially when you are the parent responsible for the child. You worry about social workers. You find yourself that, mentally, you are broken. You're destroyed emotionally, and at the same time you know you cannot break down, because you have to give an example to your children, especially the young ones, and you have to keep on smiling.” 

She described how it was difficult to be supported by charities and live in a refuge when she had always considered herself an independent woman. 

“You have to humble yourself… You’re prideful, you don't ask for help, so I had to break that as well and admit I needed help,” she said. 

She is now self-employed as she found it impossible to work a normal job with young children. 

“I'm not able to work on a normal job, which would be easier for me, especially when my child is sick, I don't have anybody to leave my child with, so I have to miss work. If I don't work, I don't get paid. Sick leave, I don't know what it is for me.” 

She described working while sick so as not to lose pay, and being self-employed gives her the flexibility to be a single mum and attend school meetings, doctors’ appointments etc. 

School breaks such as the long summer break and easter are a challenge. She receives some support from a nursery which is understanding of her financial situation. 

“I struggle, and I'm always, like, I haven't finished paying [nursery] one month, and then I have to go to the next one, and I'm choking,” she said. 

She added that she struggles to pay bills and raise her children alone. 

“The biggest challenges really as a single mom, and seeing yourself like with non-stop, no breaks, and you don't have a mother where you can say: ‘Mum, please, can you be with the child for the weekend? I need a rest’.” 

“’I'm tired. I just want to lie down. I'm crying’, for example, and you can't.” 

“You have to hold it in until they are asleep, and then you break in the nighttime, and then in the morning you have to be okay.” 

She underscored how important it is to share her story to becoming self-sufficient to highlight the strength of single mothers. 

“I'm a survivor,” she said. 

Donations can be made to the EV Foundation on their website: www.theevfoundation.com/donate