Ramadan from a woman’s perspective

In today’s edition Khaoula Elandaloussi spoke to Chronicle reporter Manar Ben Tahayekt about the meaning of Ramadan and gave a personal insight from a woman’s perspective.

What does Ramadan mean to you personally?

Personally it means a new beginning to rejuvenate our lives by strengthening our relationship with Allah. A turning point for every Muslim and a spiritual challenge.
Ramadan is a time for reflection and I feel that it is the most important part of my life. It helps me to realise and appreciate how blessed and fortunate I am to have food, water, a house to live in and most importantly, reminds me that I am human. Ramadan is a month to cleanse my soul and body and detox my brain from all negative thoughts and behaviours.

I might alter my routine and habits significantly during Ramadan. This includes studying the Qur'an, praying, and fasting. Ramadan fosters immense patience in me. By fasting from sunrise to sunset, and dedicating extra hours to prayer and worship, I learn the meaning of self-discipline. Because I’m abstaining from the very natural human desires of eating and drinking, it’s a time to teach myself discipline and focus. A time when I realise that I can control my actions and behaviours towards others.

How do you prepare for Ramadan, both spiritually and physically?

Before I enter upon fasting, I try to renew my intention by supplicating to Allah, asking forgiveness and showing repentance for all sins then I ask Allah to support and give me the strength to fast. I make my intentions clear and focused. I renew those intentions every night and I’d be mindful of them.

I read the Qu'ran every day leading up to Ramadan and keep doing it throughout Ramadan.

I make supplications (du`aa') with the aim of benefiting spiritually from Ramadan.

Who is required to fast during Ramadan, and who is exempt?

It is important to know that if there is a health emergency, Muslims can break their fast. Fasting is meant to be a spiritual challenge, but not a threat to one’s health.

Prepubescent children, women going through menstruation or postpartum bleeding, travellers, pregnant or nursing women who feel that prolonged fasting could harm them or their unborn children, and elderly people who are unable to endure are among the many reasons given in Islam for not fasting during Ramadan.

Adults are exempt from fasting if they are sick, traveling, menstruating, bleeding after giving birth, or suffering from a medical condition that would make fasting harmful. They can either make up the fast later in the year or give to the less fortunate as a charitable expiation.

How does fasting impact your daily routine?

During this time, Muslims typically alter their lifestyles and eating habits. For example, they only eat two main meals: iftar at sunset and sahur before dawn.

During this fasting period, they also experience changes in their sleeping habits and the amount of time they spend on daily activities. Every Muslim will observe Ramadan in a unique way, and there will frequently be a wide variety of practices related to prayer, fasting, and social gatherings.

What are some common misconceptions about fasting during Ramadan?

There are a lot of misconceptions about the month of Ramadan. Here are the most common ones:
Brushing Your Teeth Breaks Your Fast: Scholars worldwide agree that brushing your teeth does not break your fast. Just take care not to swallow any water while doing the routine. Swallowing Your Saliva Breaks Your Fast: This one may seem a bit silly but it’s fairly straightforward.

It is perfectly fine to swallow your own saliva. In fact, it’s encouraged. Any Eating or Drinking, Even Accidental, Breaks Your Fast: While most Muslims know this myth isn’t true, many still worry about it. In saying that, accidentally eating or drinking during your fast, does not break you fast. As the Prophet PBUH said, “Whoever forgets he is fasting and eats or drinks, let him complete his fast for it is Allah Who has fed him and given him to drink.”(Bukhari and Muslim)

All Muslims Must Fast During Ramadan: While this is generally true, there are several exceptions. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran, (Fast a) prescribed number of days. But whoever of you is ill or on a journey, then (let them fast) an equal number of days (after Ramaḍân). For those who can only fast with extreme difficulty, compensation can be made by feeding a needy person (for every day not fasted). But whoever volunteers to give more, it is better for them. And to fast is better for you, if only you knew. (Al Baqarah,)

What is the significance of Suhoor and Iftar in your Ramadan experience?

Suhoor is a significant aspect of the Ramadan experience and goes beyond simply satisfying hunger. When our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Have something at Suhoor and Iftar, even if it is only a swallow of water," he emphasized its significance.

Suhoor, the pre-fasting meal you eat just before sunrise, is an essential part of a fasting Muslim's day and, to be honest, is equivalent to having an early breakfast with my entire family. It's important to give my body the proper nutrients and nutritious food that will keep it energized for a full day of fasting.

Iftar is an important meal that is frequently celebrated with loved ones. It is an occasion to unite, build bonds, and express appreciation for life's blessings.

Every family breaks the fast together every day, or we plan get-togethers for only friends, so really no one breaks the fast on their own during the month. Everybody's daily schedule consists of rushing from one location to another, but this one month is filled with feasts every day. dressing up, wearing jelabas or caftans. On certain days, we all spend thirty minutes at the table before the call to prayer arrives, anxious to begin. On other days, though, you would find us all running around yelling, "2 minutes left, join everyone."

How do you stay motivated to fast, especially on difficult days?

Throughout the month of Ramadan, it can be challenging to stay on track.

I get inspired for the next day after every successful day. Talking with friends and family about the importance of supporting the person who is fasting, choosing healthier foods during Iftar. I also remind myself with scientific facts which inspire me throughout Ramadan and encourages to fast.

What spiritual practices do you focus on during Ramadan besides fasting?

It is also a way to practise spiritual discipline and develop compassion for the less fortunate. Apart from the five daily prayers, another highly significant optional ritual is to assemble for extra collective prayers every night for a month after the evening prayer. The name of this prayer is Tarawih. Throughout the whole month of Ramadan, offering this particular prayer has both spiritual and health advantages.

 I would engage in increased worship such as read Quran daily, spiritual purification, good deeds, and charitable activities.

How does Ramadan influence your sense of community and connection with others?

Ramadan significantly contributes to cultivating a sense of community and bonds among individuals. By merging various cultures, traditions, and customs, Ramadan unites communities, promoting understanding, respect, and solidarity. Although it may seem difficult to fast all day, Muslims typically look forward to Ramadan. Every family breaks the fast together every day, or we plan get-togethers for only friends, so really no one breaks the fast on their own during the month. I eagerly anticipate hosting guests in my home and preparing delightful meals for them. Additionally, I take pleasure in organizing iftar gatherings outdoors or at the mosque, provided the weather is favourable.

In what ways do you think Ramadan fosters self-discipline and personal growth?

One may wonder why Islam requires a person to abstain from everyday permissible joys throughout the day.
When discussing the rationale behind the Islamic fasting tradition, Allah says that the main goal is "to help you achieve taqwa." The word taqwa is used in the Holy Qur’an in three senses. It signifies security from pain and suffering, security from sin and the attainment of a high spiritual level.’ He further says, ‘fasting promotes all of these 3 purposes.
Saying that fasting protects people from suffering seems odd at first because fasting causes some hardship for people. However, a little examination reveals that people learn valuable lessons from hardship.

We see in our daily lives that professionals in different sectors frequently follow to strict schedules. Pro athletes endure tough exercises in order to perform well at crucial moments. The army frequently subjects its members to intense training and difficulties in order to get them ready for the challenging circumstances they might face during deployments. Fasting is no different in how it protects us from difficulties, hardships and suffering through exercising self-control and regulating good routines and habits which we are expected to carry on throughout the year.

Fasting protects against sin since sin originates from a desire for material pleasure. A man finds it hard to give up a habit that he has grown accustomed to. But a man who is able to give up a habit will, never become its slave.
someone who learns to practise self-control and restraint and gives up all material pleasures for an entire month in order to pursue God's delight will have no trouble resisting temptation to sin.

Do you think women experience Ramadan differently than men? If so, how?

In my view, as a woman, the primary distinction lies in the occasions when we are not required to fast. Nevertheless, we compensate for these exemptions throughout the year when men are not fasting, resulting in an equal number of fasting days for both genders.
Muslim women are granted a compulsory religious exemption from fasting during their menstrual or lochia periods. Additionally, women who are pregnant or breastfeeding are not required to fast if they have concerns regarding their own health or the well-being of their child. Women abstain from fasting during their period – reason being that the almighty has forbidden a menstruating woman from fasting out of mercy because women lose blood and it can lead to fatigue. Hence, fasting would be an unfair burden on them.

How do women balance religious obligations with daily responsibilities during Ramadan?

For many women, juggling household chores alongside the additional spiritual practices of Ramadan may seem overwhelming. However, Islam emphasizes the importance of intention (Niyyah) in all actions. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Actions are Judged by intentions, ”By reframing mundane tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and caring for family members as acts of worship, women can integrate their domestic duties seamlessly into their spiritual routines. To achieve a balance between religious obligations and daily responsibilities, a woman must establish clear goals from the outset. Try to be positive no matter what, get plenty of sleep (anytime), and try to be hydrated as long as you are not fasting.

God the Almighty says in the Qur’an, “Surely for Muslim men and women, believing men and women, devout men and women, truthful men and women, patient men and women, humble men and women, charitable men and women, fasting men and women, men and women who guard their chastity, and men and women who remember God often—for all of them God has prepared forgiveness and a great reward” (Quran 33: 35).

What role do women play in preparing and organising family Ramadan traditions?

Significant family traditions are crucial in shaping a child's religious identity. Engaging in these activities allows a child to connect with a broader community through shared experiences, thereby fostering spiritual growth. Additionally, these traditions can positively influence an individual's civic involvement in adulthood. For instance, commemorating the first day of fasting contributes to the objective of nurturing resilient Muslim children, alongside various other cherished Ramadan customs.

How does menstruation impact a woman’s ability to participate in fasting and prayers?

Many women worry that getting their menstruation during a blessed time could be a sign of Allah's displeasure. We equate it with exclusion when people exclude, it is because they do not like you or they see you as unworthy, so we subconsciously project that onto Allah, believing that He might not like us and deems us unworthy. But the Prophet PBUH comforted Aisha (RA) and all of us by banishing the thought your natural cycle, that Allah gave you as a blessing and for a wisdom, is simply something that Allah decreed. When you start your period has nothing to do with Allah’s pleasure with you.

He then taught Aisha (RA) what she should do. Out of mercy, Allah decreed that women should not do the prayer or fast during menstruation. We are rewarded for submitting to and obeying Him, so not fasting becomes an act of obedience, as does not praying during this time. We are in a state of submission because we fast and pray when He tells us to and we refrain from doing so when He forbids us. The state of the heart is the same: loving submission to the commands of our Merciful Lord.
But what about connection? We might miss those actions. We might want to pray for long hours during the night, or join the congregation in the mosque. Yet menstruation does not mean you are cut off from Allah. In fact, just like the Prophet PBHU taught Aisha (RA) that there were things she should be doing to worship Allah such as: Reciting Qur’an, remembrance of Allah, Supplications, the worship of the heart and charity.

What are some challenges that women face during Ramadan that often go unnoticed?

women spend much of their time in the kitchen cooking verities of dishes and planning for the next day. A typical Ramadan picture is that of mothers and sisters busy cooking till the time of sunset while the rest of the family awaits for the siren, tired and hungry. Perhaps people ignore the fact that women too fast all day. In nearly every household, a familiar sight unfolds as women bustle about, making final preparations for the iftar table upon hearing the maghrib adhaan. Some individuals even break their fast while still engaged in cooking or serving food, while the rest of the family remains seated, patiently awaiting the elaborate dishes that mark the end of the fast.

How do pregnant or breastfeeding women navigate fasting, and what alternatives do they have?

Pregnant and nursing women are exempt from fasting and can elect to make up for any missed days at a later date or to pay a ransom to a less fortunate. In my experience, I recall a conversation with my gynaecologist during my pregnancy, during which she determined that I was fit to fast, provided that I maintained a nutritious diet during suhoor and iftar.
Individuals who are excused from fasting for health-related reasons may still engage in various Ramadan activities, including communal prayers and social gatherings. This sacred month provides a chance for introspection, charitable acts, and prayer, along with the opportunity to enhance one's spirituality and connect with family and friends.

How can Ramadan be made more inclusive and supportive for women?

Acknowledge the physical difficulties associated with fasting during Ramadan. Muslim women may face issues such as fatigue, dehydration, or fluctuations in energy levels throughout the day. It is important to take these factors into account and refrain from anticipating high levels of productivity during the hours of peak fasting. Offering flexibility in work schedules or permitting brief breaks for prayer can significantly assist your colleagues during this time. Furthermore, it is acknowledged that even on ordinary days, certain women experience what is referred to as the triple shift. This phenomenon encompasses not only their engagement in paid employment and unpaid domestic responsibilities, such as household chores, but also their role in providing emotional support and ensuring the overall wellbeing of family members within the home.

What is your perspective on women attending Taraweeh prayers in mosques?

A woman has the option to perform the tarawih prayer, which is conducted at night during the month of Ramadan, in any location she prefers. She may choose to pray at home if she wishes, or alternatively, she can attend the mosque to seek strength and support by joining her fellow worshippers in the devotion to God. It is my belief that if Allah has provided us with the choice to pray at home and it is not obligatory, we should utilize this flexibility, especially when we are feeling fatigued or managing the responsibilities of children. However, if a woman wishes to attend the mosque, she is certainly encouraged to do so.

Are there any Ramadan traditions or practices you wish were different for women?

In numerous households, cultural expectations, strict gender roles, and prevailing stereotypes contribute to a detrimental cycle that often leads individuals to experience breakdowns, burnout, or severe fatigue, particularly in situations where coercive control and abuse are present.

This inquiry stems from a misguided conflation of social and cultural practices with the esteemed principles of Islam. In essence, certain customs and traditions are regrettably presenting themselves as Islamic, thereby jeopardizing the pursuit of gender equity.

Equity in Islam serves to promote justice and ensure comprehensive equality in the rights and responsibilities of both genders. It accommodates the potential for differences in certain areas while maintaining the overarching principles of balance and equality.

God the Almighty explains this meaning of ‘equity’ in the Qur’an: “Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while they are believers, We will surely cause them to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do” (Qur'an 16:97)." Muslim women play a crucial role both within and beyond the confines of the home. This role raises a frequently pondered question: Does a Muslim woman experience the same spiritual elevation as a man, despite dedicating much of her time to household chores and meal preparation in the kitchen? Having this on mind, it is clear from the earliest sources that women's role has never been restricted solely to the domestic sphere.

These viewpoints frequently arise from the understanding that. the Prophet PBUH. himself helped with the chores. Aisha r.a., the wife of Prophet Muhammad PBUH. was asked, “What did the Prophet PBUH. used to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer, he would go for it.”

Unfortunately, the cases where the husband expects to be served fully are not rare and still prevalent in our society. With women being more financially independent and playing a more active role in contributing to the family’s finances, it is more likely that they will be less tolerant of such conduct. The Prophet PBUH. never differentiated between a task being for the husband or wife. Rather, he did what he could to ease the marriage burden.

What advice would you give to women who struggle to balance faith, work, and personal life during Ramadan?

In Islam, every action performed with sincerity and devotion is believed to be rewarded by God. Women who faithfully carry out their household responsibilities during Ramadan, all the while upholding their spiritual observances, are assured of significant rewards.

Cooking iftar for the family becomes an act of charity (sadaqah) when done with the intention of pleasing God and nourishing loved ones. The Prophet PBHU said, “Whoever gives food for a fasting person to break his fast, he/she will have a reward like theirs, without that detracting from their reward in the slightest.” Similarly, cleaning and organizing the home can be seen as acts of worship, creating a peaceful and conducive environment for spiritual reflection and prayer.

Moreover, the act of fasting itself holds great significance for women in Ramadan. Despite the physical challenges, fasting provides an opportunity for spiritual purification, self-discipline, and empathy towards the less fortunate. Women who fast with sincerity are promised forgiveness of sins and increased closeness to God. Abu Hurairah reported: The Messenger of God PBHU said, “If a woman prays her five obligatory prayers, fasts the month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband (in that which pleases God), she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes.”
Ramadan Mubarak.