The Primal run - a shopping Mecca

Has anyone not heard of the Primal run? I have been passively involved in it for the past few years since the giant ‘P’ superstore opened in Madrid. It has become the seasonal shopping Mecca for Llanitos, because why would we miss out on the ‘shopportunity’ of being squeezed into a giant department store to grab Christmas bargains or die trying?

When I say passively involved, I mean chilling while we (the men) patiently wait in the first floor Beauty department annexe which has comfortable seating - a breed of Alpha males too weak to push through the female throng darting around hunting on every rail in every one of the store’s levels. We guard their coats and shopping bags while we play patience on our mobiles. Occasionally we may glance at the jungle of clothes rails and the throng of admirers but don’t over think it. Shopping rules are written in stone.

That we should also practice our best smiles for when they return triumphantly loaded is optional, but highly recommended if we then expect to be allowed to browse anything that hopefully might be considered ‘useful’ in the Female Book of Practical Things that Men Like (this publication is now out of print because its disputed content varied so much and so often that the publishers simply couldn’t keep up. The story of our lives).

In every case, we just grin and bear it (this pre- Christmas Primal run) to keep the peace. After all it is supposed to be the season of peace and goodwill.

We guys can always browse here in our own Main Street without paper shopping bags blocking our view.

Truth be told, the P superstore in Madrid is a well-appointed multi cashpoint giant ‘Primarily’ designed to devour credit cards and cash (who uses that today?) from Black Friday till Christmas and beyond.

That we have a similar P outlet in the nearby Campo seems irrelevant. Nothing is going to slow down the Primal run to Madrid for the increasing number of local shoppers so, guys and passive shoppers, get ready to wait when your turn comes around and remember the golden rule - that what could be useful in our male gadget world is deemed as clutter and useless in the female domain, so play nice and chill whilst you rest your arms, which are always considered useful to carry the ‘bargains’ back home.

We have well-appointed superstores here, a credit to our small city. Is it really worth the excursion abroad to attack our credit cards?

Don’t answer that. Watch those dwindling balances on your banking apps as you ponder the question and always remember to smile even though your arms may be aching.

A big smile is as essential as running shoes in the Primal run.