Grant Harrold on his dream role as Royal Butler

Royal Family life is always a world many would like a glimpse of, one person who knows only too well what goes on behind the castle and palace walls is former Royal Butler Grant Harrold. He is one of the guest speakers at this year’s Gibraltar Literary Festival and his talk at the Garrison Library on November 12 is already sold out. Ahead of his arrival on the Rock, he spoke to Chronicle reporter Eyleen Gomez about all things etiquette.

Working as a butler for King Charles III, Queen Camilla, the Prince and Princess of Wales and occasionally even Queen Elizabeth II, what was a typical “day in the life” versus one that was truly extraordinary?
A typical day, it's kind of structured. And it's structured because of the diary, because of the royal household in the diary. And obviously the king and the queen, members of the family have things that they'd be doing each day.

But you've got to remember, this is obviously before William and Kate were Prince and Princess of Wales, working members of the royal family. They used to, kind of, appear at things, but it was very much more the now King and Queen.

That's how we kind of worked out the days.

But the typical day because, you know, you as a butler, you'd be there to open the house up in the morning. You'd be there to serve them the breakfast. You'd be there. You then probably run some errands.

You would be planning out the rest of the meals for the day, making sure that if they were having lunch, everything was ready and the tables laid and you're ready to serve lunch. If they're having an afternoon tea, same thing dinner.

You make sure that it's all prepped on trays, ready to go, and then in early, get that laid up and get that ready, or get it even done in the day, if it wasn't a room that they are not going to go into.

And in between that, as I said, we might run errands, might fill cars up with fuel. There might be housekeeping jobs to do. There could be some helping the valets with some of the ironing that had to be done. Even helping in the gardens, which I sometimes did.

So there was no typical day, each day was very different, depending on their schedule.

The truly extraordinary thing was the day when I got to dance with the Queen, and that was obviously quite an extraordinary occasion, because it was a typical day. The only difference was, in the evening, I got to go to Balmoral Castle, to attend the Ghillies ball. And of course, while at that, I got to dance with the Queen.

But every day was always quite funny. You didn't know what was going to be thrown at you. Because, you know, one minute it could be just them, there could be a world leader, there could be a celebrity.

How did you manage discretion, confidentiality, and protocol when serving in such high-profile households?
It just becomes second nature.

You’re there to do a job, you're also not there to listen to the conversations. So you've got to remember when you're in those situations, even though those conversations go on, your focus will be very much on the job at hand and what you're doing, who you're serving, and who you're looking after.

So I think it was easy for my point of view not to be, kind of, listening to conversations but, on saying that, you did hear things, you did see things.

And I think the way I see it is, when you're lucky enough to want these kind of extraordinary environments, people want to know about it, and it's great that the Royal household are allowing people to kind of talk about it, or to share experiences, or even, you know, put books out with, kind of, behind the scenes and documentaries that come out, and all these social media things we get to see of the Royal Family.

But there's got to be, from the butler's point of view, a bit of discretion and confidentiality. And even though I've done a book, there's things that I would never talk about, because that's part of a butler's confidentiality.

So you, kind of, learn over the years how to manage that.

Which person(s) in the royal households you served taught you the most in terms of character, values, or leadership)?
The King.

He was very he was very good. I found the king very interesting because I was obviously around him quite a lot and, kind of, was able to observe him and watch him, and of course, as a future leader, future king, but also someday, very much a businessman, somebody who values etiquette and traditions and protocols.

So I learned a lot from him.

I've always said it was him and, when I worked for the Bedfords, Robin Tavistock. There are the two gentlemen that I learned so much in the way of life lessons from, and I am grateful to them.

And of course, I have been around Queen Elizabeth II from time to time. Of course, I respected and admired her and from a distance. We'd kind of think “Wow, isn't she a remarkable character?”

Did you form any surprising friendships or relationships behind the palace walls that people would find unexpected?
“Yeah, definitely. William, Catherine and Harry, I'd say it would probably surprise a lot. It would surprise me, because I didn't realise that I'd become friends of theirs. And I did become good friends, really good friends.

But obviously I was there still to do a job, so I was there to work for them as well.

But, you know, we had each other's numbers. If we went to the pub, I'd have a drink with them.
You know, we got on really, really well, really well.

And that did surprise me. And you know, my friends and my family thought it was crazy. Getting phone calls from Prince William and stuff, all sorts of hours of the day.

And it was with Catherine as well, because obviously I got to know her it was great fun.

Do you think that etiquette is often perceived as old-fashioned, and do you feel it may be lost over time?
I mean, etiquette is old fashioned. I mean, etiquette has been around for centuries, as have thankfully, manners. I don't think it's going to be lost.

It's interesting because we all look at people to guide us, in every day, in all walks of life. And etiquette is one of those amazing things that it teaches you how to behave, the etiquette of how to dine, the etiquette of how to take your tea, the etiquette of how to hold a glass. And these are valuable life lessons. And I think there's always going to be a place for them.

It's going to evolve. I mean, look, we've now got to have a mobile phone etiquette where you didn't have that in Louis XIV’s palace.

So it just shows you how much things have changed.

So etiquette, it can be seen as old fashioned, but it's got a place in the modern world.

What’s the most common misunderstanding or “myth” about etiquette?
Everyone thinks if you don't have etiquette, you don't know how to behave. And that's not true. We all know how to behave.

I always say that you're king or queen of your castle, and in your home, my home, the King's home, we've all got things we like to do and we don't like to do. We've all got our little rules. We all got our little quirks. We've all got our ways of laying up tables. We've got our ways of serving things, our ways of presenting things. And that is correct.

The Universal etiquette, which is obviously what I teach, which people may call Royal Etiquette, is not just what the Royals have created. They've, if you like, begged and borrowed it from other countries and other people, and created the etiquette we've got today.

And that's just a universal etiquette, and it's good that we all understand it and know it.

But at the end of the end, in your own home, as I said, you're king or queen of your castle, and you should do things the way you think you should.

It's just etiquette comes in handy if you're in someone else's home

What is the most common faux pas that guests made? And what has been the most uncouth?
The most common is probably the mobile phones. It’s second nature. We look at mobile phones, we pick them up, we sometimes make a call when we shouldn't. That's the worst thing you can do, and it's trying to remember not to do that.

The most uncouth, it's probably when you have a meal with somebody and they're trying to put as much food into their mouth as they can, kind of shovelling it in and then speaking to you at the same time, and I will say it resembles a cement mixer.

And, I've even said to people ‘tell me, have you ever sat opposite a cement mixer?’ to kind of point out what they're doing. It doesn't always go through, they don't really understand.

No doubt you have dealt with guests or clients from all over the world, are there cultural differences in manners that you find particularly interesting or challenging regarding this?
Do you know what, every country is good. Even in Gibraltar, they'll have their own rules and etiquette and manners and how to do things. Which I'll let you know I'm going to be reading up on to make sure I get it right.

It's important that we respect other countries’ values, protocols, traditions, etiquettes, manners, because that's what makes each country unique, and it's wrong of me to enter another country and think I'm going to do things the British way, because it just doesn't work like that.

So it's important that we learn about etiquette, and not just etiquette, but protocols and traditions and rules in other countries so that we don't break those and that's what it's important, that you respect other people and you should also respect their countries.

Looking back, is there anything you wish you had known or done differently during your years in service?
Yes, the only thing I'd have done differently is thank Elizabeth II for, as I've said so many times, for allowing a young boy’s dreams to come true. Because, as a kid growing up and admiring and watching Queen Elizabeth, actually getting to serve her and dance with her is a dream come true.

I had an amazing time in the Royal household, and I had had so much fun and so many laughs And so, so, so many great memories that I thankfully, you know, I've been able to kind of tell a lot of them in my book.
I feel very lucky, and I wouldn't change anything at all. I think the only thing I would maybe change is just realise that we're all quite remarkable people.

We can really can make our dreams come true, whether you call it manifesting or wishes or prayers, we can make things happen. And I was going say, I wish I'd known that when I was younger, but I think I did. I think that's the point.

That's why I got to do what I got to do and got to know the wonderful Queen Elizabeth II.

How has your collaboration with Seabourn Cruise Line come about? And what does it entail?
Thanks to that collaboration, it means that I now do the cruise ships.

And that came around because a wonderful friend of mine called Richard Stone, who is the royal portrait painter. And what I mean by that is he has painted most members of the royal family over the years. And his artwork, if I can say, is quite famous and that's how I knew of him, because obviously, he's painted the King. He's painted a very, very, very famous painting of the Queen.

In fact, the image was used, when the Queen died, at the BBC. And he also painted Robin Tavistock, my old boss. I knew him, and I'd met him over the years, and he invited me to lunch, to his house.

And when I was having lunch, that's when I got to meet a cruise director called Handre Potgieter who is now, I think, he's head of entertainment for seaborn, but back then he was one of the cruise directors, and I got to meet him, and he put in a good word with me, and then got me to join Seabourn.

And that was back in January 2018 which was my first year with Seabourn, and it's been amazing. Because, since Seabourn, I've branched into other lines as well. But what's been really nice is it’s all under the Carnival umbrella.

So it's been really nice getting involved with all these different ships thanks to that, and that's also what's led me to being able to come and join you guys in Gibraltar.