Short Stories School Years 4 to 5 Highly Commended Emilia Watson with ‘Adventures at Tredegar Park’

There is a beautiful house in Wales called Tredegar Park, which is a boarding school run by very strict nuns. It has a big grassy garden that all the children can play in. Two 11-year-old friends called Louise and Janet boarded at the school and only went home one a month. They were friends because they both loved horses. Luckily for them there were big stables at Tredegar Park with 13 ponies and lots of woodlands to ride them in.

One beautiful spring morning Louise and Janet were very bored because all their friends had gone home for the weekend. So very sneakily they crept out to the paddock and climbed over the fence to see the ponies. Luckily for Louise and Janet the ponies were very friendly. They found a pony called Cristobel, he was speckled grey and his mane was white as snow but very straggly. He was Louise’s favourite because he was smaller than the others and unique.

Louise got hold of his mane and pulled herself on to his back. She started to take Cristobel for a walk through the woodlands with Janet leading Christobel with a carrot! Suddenly two fluffy brown rabbits shot out from a hole in the ground, which frightened Cristobel. He was so scared he shot off back towards the paddock with Louise clinging on to his straggly mane! She would have been ok except he stopped suddenly at a ditch… but Louise did not! She flew over his ears and banged her head on the other side of the ditch.

Janet found Louise in the ditch and took her back to the nuns at the boarding school. At first Janet was too scared to tell them what really happened. She said Louise had banged her head on a tree branch! The nuns took Louise to the sick bay to look at her head but Louise collapsed on the floor. Janet was worried so she decided to be brave and tell the nuns the truth about Cristobel. Poor Janet, being older, got into a lot of trouble with the nuns.

Luckily Louise got better soon and went back to school. Janet and Louise had many more adventures at Tredegar Park and are still best friends today… 61 years later!

Adjudicators Comments:
‘This story paints a clear picture of Tredegar Park. An idyllic setting in stark contrast with the strict boarding school on its grounds. The tale describes a specific moment in the memory of lifelong friends as recounted by one of their grandchildren after 61 years. The writer includes enough detail to recreate the scene for the reader and structures the recount cleverly, without revealing the identity of the protagonist until the end. A lovely tale of enduring friendship and solidarity, even when faced with the wrath of the ‘very strict nuns’!’